An Open Letter To The Friend Who Was Never Actually My Friend

To the friend who was never actually my friend:

Thank you for making me think we were actually friends. Our late night talks, our breakfast and dinner dates, our late night dance parties and homework nights won’t be forgotten; neither will the way you treated our friendship. While I thought we were growing closer, we were actually growing apart.

At the beginning of our friendship, everything was shiny, new and exciting. I couldn't wait to see our friendship grow and get to know each other better. Our future looked promising; little did I know that our friendship would grow under false pretenses and that our relationship would actually be a toxic one. As time went on, I started to realize that the countless hours we were spending together were harming me instead of helping me. They weren't harmful in a physical way, but mentally you started taking a toll on me. Your constant negativity and lack of support for me and my life was causing me unnecessary stress. While I thought you could be someone I could lean on, you were really someone trying to keep me down in order to keep yourself up.

Between putting me down, questioning everything I did, and spreading lies about me behind my back, I realized that you weren’t actually my friend. You were just another person who was stuck in their insecurities, who needed to put others down to keep yourself up. You were more focused on yourself and your own problems than on our friendship. That’s not the kind of friend I want in my life. While I was blinded to this side of you because you were a new shiny friend for a couple months, I finally realized we had no friendship. Initially, this realization saddened me, but, in the end, I’m better off without you.

While our friendship may not have been real, you’ve taught me many real life lessons. You taught me what a real friendship looks like; two people who support, encourage and push one another to be the best versions of themselves possible. You taught me to appreciate the true friends that I do have. You taught me warning signs to look for in future friends. You reminded me how not to treat other people. Most importantly, you taught me to be true to myself and stand up for the kind of friendship that I deserve.

Ending our friendship wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. I shouldn't have to settle for a friendship. Leaving you in my past feels like a breath of fresh air. Now that my blinders are off and I’ve seen your true colors, I hope that you can learn how to be a real friend. I hope that you can have real friendships of your own. I don’t resent you or our friendship because it taught me to value the rest of my real friends.

So, to the friend who was never actually my friend: Thank you. Thank you for showing me and teaching me what true friendship is.